nurse_marbles ([info]nurse_marbles) wrote,
@ 2008-03-25 01:21:00
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Amish Christian Romance Novels = ?
I had the misfortune of discovering the existence of these while at the grocery store tonight.
Peep the publisher's tag line:
Hitch up your wagon and take a buggy ride into Amish country, where love, faith, and hope get a second chance at life!

And should the words "confirmed bachelor" be used to describe an Amish man who bakes bible scripture pies?
Faith Stutzman Andrews left her Missouri Amish community ten years ago to pursue her career as a comedian. Now widowed, Faith shows up on her parents' doorstep with her six-year-old daughter in tow. Will the lure of the English world prove too strong for Faith, or will she discover that home is where her heart is? Confirmed bachelor Noah Hertzler often bakes desserts that he gives to others, attaching verses of Scripture to each culinary delight in the hopes of soothing the soul as well as nourishing the body. Can Noah's tactics heal a shattered Faith before she runs away again?

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[info]misscupcake
2008-03-25 01:15 pm UTC (link)
hilarious.

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[info]eight_bits
2008-03-25 06:23 pm UTC (link)
Is there actual sex in these?

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[info]nurse_marbles
2008-03-25 10:54 pm UTC (link)
Na, I saw them on an "inspirational" rack...

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[info]kumquatpie
2008-03-25 06:26 pm UTC (link)
Hahahaha, that's too great.

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[info]scary_manilow
2008-03-25 07:16 pm UTC (link)
Okay, so can ANYONE publish a book on these imprints? I've got a biblical melodrama itch that needs some serious scratching.

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[info]suraktaarati
2008-03-25 07:26 pm UTC (link)
Did you read the about the author thing on the back? The woman is nuts.
I've always been tempted to read one... I want to know if there are sex scenes or just dirty prayer scenes.

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[info]nurse_marbles
2008-03-25 10:57 pm UTC (link)
Have you ever met our friend Bill? He's a taxi driver for the amish. If you want to hear real, raunchy sex stories that involve the amish, talk to him!

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[info]suraktaarati
2008-03-26 05:10 am UTC (link)
Oh, I've heard them.
I dont know him, but my nephew is half amish. haha. I know them.

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[info]nurse_marbles
2008-03-26 04:48 pm UTC (link)
What?! Meaning one of your sisters had sex with an amish man, which resulted in a pregnancy?!

Fucking Bob moved back to Gomez today...Now I have THREE blue, male animals with indifferent personalities...

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[info]suraktaarati
2008-03-27 03:28 am UTC (link)
Oh yeah.
He was a weird man, too. He would stay over at the trailer she lived in sometimes, and watch porn while I tried to sleep on the floor. He watched weird shit too, like witches humping their broomsticks.


Next up, you'll get Goose again.

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[info]magnolia_5
2008-03-25 08:56 pm UTC (link)
that is pretty funny, and I dont even think you could call it "cheesy", either. I have never seen those, but I doubt they would sell in California.

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[info]nurse_marbles
2008-03-25 10:50 pm UTC (link)
I could *maybe* see them being stocked in christian book store in CA? You'll have to go in one to find out, lol. I guess that's one thing us Ohioians can boast about - we have the largest amish population *snatch*!

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[info]magnolia_5
2008-03-26 12:39 am UTC (link)
heh..ok you got us there! Im sure we have the largest of many other strange things out here, though I cant begin to imagine all of what they are~!

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[info]phyllisgabor
2008-03-26 12:30 am UTC (link)
Welcome to my world--I have to buy this shit at work CONSTANTLY because people can't get enough of inspirational love stories. The books give me the creeps, but at least the covers are always hilariously busted looking.

Most people don't even read these books for the Jesus content--they just like the PG rated romance. I really don't get it because isn't the whole point of romance novels the sex scenes?

I love the look on the cover model's face on the second book--she's all, "BEING AMISH SUCKS!!!"

Edited at 2008-03-26 12:32 am UTC

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